By Lauren Clarke & Tony Clarke
January signifies time for change in a lot of ways. New year’s resolutions are in full swing, and ideas around fresh starts and positive goals are flowing. In January 2011, Emily Robinson’s idea was to run a half-marathon and decided to give up drinking to support with this. She joined Alcohol Change UK in 2012 and the benefits she felt from her own sober experience sparked the idea of a countrywide challenge to have a sober start to the year. By 2013, the Dry January Challenge began.
What Dry January Really Offers
Since the challenge began, millions of people across the UK have felt the benefits of improved sleep, concentration, mood, and weight loss, not to mention the significant financial saving. More and more people, every year, are taking part and there is so much more to gain, from this opportunity for pause, than we might first consider. Having time to really evaluate our relationship with alcohol can yield insight into our own general mental health and wellbeing and, when there are others around doing the same thing, it can feel less daunting.
Recovery Beyond Dry January
My (Lauren’s) personal experience with this expands way past Dry January. I have been in alcohol recovery for over 4 years. This time of year, I get reflective about the person I was before I recognized I had a problem with addiction and I compare myself then to myself now. I am happier, healthier and I understand myself so much more, now that I have had the opportunity to be honest about my relationship with alcohol; I drank to escape, I drank to deflect, I drank to forget. It’s not easy, but the support and acceptance I found was more beautiful than I could have ever expected.
Checking In with Our Relationship with Alcohol
Everyone’s journey is unique, and I certainly don’t think that everyone will uncover issues when checking in with their relationship to alcohol. I do, however, feel that self-reflection can be a useful practice. Some of questions you might ask, in this context, could be:
– How does alcohol make me feel, physically?
– How does it affect my mental health?
– Does it add to or take away from my wellbeing?
Whatever your answers may be, remember reflection isn’t about judgement, but understanding. If we find that our understanding is impacting negatively this can be the opportunity to look for some support.
Why I Didn’t Do It Alone
This heading is a little misleading, because it took me a while to reach out for support. I felt a lot of shame and embarrassment when I had my “glass shattering” moment and realized that I was living in active addiction and it was up to me to change things. I struggled every day until I reached out. I didn’t have to reach far. My Dad was one of the first people to push me to ask uncomfortable questions about myself, because he had asked these of himself and had been where I was. When I asked for support, I got understanding, love, acceptance and compassion. Someone else showing this to me gave me permission to show these virtues to myself and my journey became easier and more meaningful.
This made the biggest difference to the difficult parts of sobriety, one of which is what to do when all of your social life is centered around drinking.
Navigating Social Life Without Alcohol
In the UK, especially, our social situations can be met with expectations of drinking. Even in casual conversations, there are references to alcohol. One memory I have of this came when I was in the DIY shop near my house, I had horrible tooth ache and two sperate people told me to “Just rub some brandy on it”. It struck me, how interwoven into our culture alcohol can be. The pressure of navigating a party or social gathering, without it, felt huge.
“What if I stand out and people ask questions?”
“What if I’m less fun?”
“What if people like me less?”
I cannot say that I never experienced some awkward situations, or that I didn’t lose some friends, with their own journeys to have with sobriety. But, the relief I felt when I could connect with people, without it, and I was still fun, was a real highlight of recovery. People who like me, like me for me and I like myself more too.
My Dad’s Perspective: A Voice from Recovery (Tony’s Bit)
My journey towards recovery has been a long struggle filled with many lapses and self-doubt. I attempted to deal with addictive issues numerous times, often succeeding for a short time then lapsing. I would find excuses, rational reasons and often deceive myself, but I could only hold this façade for a time and, ultimately, had to face the truth of my situation. I spent over 50 years in active addiction and I have now been successfully recovering for 8 years and feel very confident that I will not lapse again.
Going through this journey gave me some insights into the self-talk and denials we present ourselves with, when facing addictive behaviors so, when speaking with my daughter (Lauren) and recognizing some of the issues she was facing, in her life, I feel it enabled me to be honest and allowed her to ask herself some of the uncomfortable questions we must face when dealing with addiction. This has created a closer bond between us and we can talk honestly without judgement.
Most people have a reasonable relationship with alcohol so a period of abstinence can feel beneficial and taking part in a community challenge can feel very connecting.
But, for those who are questioning their relationship with alcohol, they may find it a time to reflect and contemplate a step towards a more permanent state of sobriety and, as such, a dry January may be the beginning of a journey towards effective and positive life changes.
Why Dry January Matters—Even If You Don’t Quit Forever
We don’t make these changes to try to achieve perfection; we do it to find the value in reflection and what makes Dry January especially powerful is that it’s rarely done alone. When people choose to take part together, it creates a quiet sense of community—at home, among friends, at work, and online. Shared experience can open conversations that might otherwise feel uncomfortable or unnecessary. It can create awareness around habits we’ve never questioned and gently plant seeds for healthier choices in the future—whatever those choices look like for each individual. Sometimes, the biggest change doesn’t come from stopping forever but from finally paying attention.
An Invitation to Reflect
Whether you choose to take part in Dry January or simply use it as a moment to pause and reflect, the invitation is the same: to check in with yourself, honestly and kindly. Small, positive changes, especially those made with intention, have a way of creating ripple effects. They can shift how we feel in our bodies, how we show up in our relationships, and even how others see us. Most importantly, they can strengthen the love, care, and respect we have for ourselves.
Meaningful change doesn’t have to be dramatic or permanent to matter. It often begins with curiosity, supported by connection. When we allow ourselves to ask questions and lean on the people around us, we create space for growth—on our own terms. Dry January is simply one doorway into that space, but the possibilities it opens can reach far beyond a single month.
